I’ll go first. It was a guy starting up a gas powered chain saw in the parking lot… How does that stack up with the craziest shit you’ve seen at a PF?
Let me elaborate. This wasn’t a Planet Fitness in Montana, or Wyoming, or out in Appalachia . This was in the middle of a city. You can’t even see a tree from this place. Infact, I don’t even think there is wood within a mile of this gym. There is literally nothing he should be cutting. And it’s not like he was in a uniform or driving a company truck, buddy wasn’t punching a time clock for whatever he was doing.
Also, we weren’t right across the street from Chainsaws R Us. He wasn’t just gassing one up and testing it out. I looked it up, it’s a thirty minute drive from the nearest chainsaw dealer. This was planned. He has to get his chainsaw, mix up a little 2 stroke oil and gas slushy, and travel to a Planet Fitness. And then he had to start it! You could accidentally start an electric chain saw in a parking lot, that happens all the time, but to be tugging on that cord for 5 minutes like it’s your dick after seeing some wale tail at the local pharmacy takes intent and motivation.
Now I was driving into the parking lot to get a sweat on when I saw this. Obviously I was pretty curious, but mostly extremely terrified. I’ve seen Texas Chainsaw Massacre, I know where this could be headed (no pun intended), but I wouldn’t be deterred from my favorite sixty minutes of the day, and I didn’t see a corpse, so I went inside and prayed I wouldn’t be cut down in the middle of a new PR. At least have the decency to wait until I rack them.
Sixty uneventful minutes later I stepped outside. No chainsaw noises, no chainsaw in sight, no police, no ambulance, nothing but the usual suspects at a PF, hefty cheap people who just walked on a 0.1 degree incline for 30 minutes and did 3 sets of wrist curls followed by 5 sets of calf raises, because everyone knows the key to lower blood pressure starts in your forearms and ankles.
Unfortunately the ending to this story will leave you a little unfulfilled because instead of staying outside and observing a potential dismemberment, I went inside and hit the weights. We’ll never know why this dude decided to operate a chainsaw in the middle of a Planet Fitness parking lot, but I can’t imagine he has a good reason for it.
P.s. this incident beat out a blind guy who tried to use a smith machine while another member was in the middle of squatting, and a guy who rolled into the gym in a wheelchair and then just got out of it and started working out like nothing in the world was wrong with him.
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