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What A Gallon Of 2% Says About You.

I love the white stuff as much as anyone else. I refuse to eat an oreo without waterboarding it, Dick Cheney style, (sick reference) in the sweet nectar, and I prefer that nectar come from the breast of a thick heffer and not a busted nut (almond you perverts). But just know your hand onContinue reading “What A Gallon Of 2% Says About You.”

Weep, Drew Lock stans

I can’t believe the Denver Broncos took this long to name Teddy Bridgewater their starting quarterback for the 21′-22′ season. It’s embarrassing that they even made him compete for starting job against a guy who’s definitely making a horrible mixtape as you read this. Drew Lock is the perfect high school quarterback, and he’s aContinue reading “Weep, Drew Lock stans”

Marjorie Taylor Greene challenged Dr. Fauci to a weight lifting competition.

If you didn’t see, Marjorie Taylor Greene flexed her below average muscles right in the face of Dr. Anthony Fauci the other day, posting a video of herself working out along with the hashtag “#FireFauci.” In a “gym” fit for a maximum security prison, Greene showed off her raw strength while tossing around 25 poundContinue reading “Marjorie Taylor Greene challenged Dr. Fauci to a weight lifting competition.”

Spencer Jones’ Rumble In A Toilet Filled Jungle

I didn’t know this man existed until I saw the video of him being used as human piss mop on a bar bathroom floor. I don’t know if he deserved that treatment or not, I saw the same video everyone else did. I don’t know any details. But what I do know is that ifContinue reading “Spencer Jones’ Rumble In A Toilet Filled Jungle”

Long Live Dusty Gooch

The NHL may not have been able to deliver us the best outdoor game today, but unbeknownst to them, they gave us something so much better. The National Hockey League introduced us to local front line worker Dusty Gooch. Unfortunately, many people on the internet took this chance to taint their timelines with crude jokes,Continue reading “Long Live Dusty Gooch”

A Drew Brees Return?

ICYMI, Twitter has been buzzing lately regarding a possible Drew Brees return to New Orleans to “run it back.” Surprisingly, it was a rare topic that Twitter seemed to agree on because it would be such a disaster if old man Brees suited up for another season. It’s hard to imagine what exactly Brees wouldContinue reading “A Drew Brees Return?”

James Harden Is Leading The Charge For “Thiccck Boy Summer”

In case you haven’t seen our chonk king yet, take a look this big boy body. During a month typically known for weight loss resolution’s that result in crowded gyms, record quinoa sales, and self hatred, James Harden is shaping his body a bit differently. He’s traded in the leafy greens, dumbells, and diet pillsContinue reading “James Harden Is Leading The Charge For “Thiccck Boy Summer””

B1G Football is thriving after a Sugar Bowl dub and a historic Mayo Bowl victory.

The SEC may still reign supreme in the college football realm but the Wisconsin Badgers made a statement this week. With a resounding victory over a juggernaut Wake Forest team, the Badgers reminded the world that the Big Ten is not a conference to fuck with. In a memorable matchup between a 3-3 Wisconsin teamContinue reading “B1G Football is thriving after a Sugar Bowl dub and a historic Mayo Bowl victory.”

Machine Gun Kelly’s little brother mean mugs the Lakers after a garbage time bucket.

Here’s a photo of the moment I’m referencing. You may know this guy as “a bucket” because if you want 13.5 points per game, he’s you’re man. Now bucket exceeded expectations in Game 3 of the NBA Finals with 17 points. He added a whopping 3 rebounds and 2 assists just to make sure weContinue reading “Machine Gun Kelly’s little brother mean mugs the Lakers after a garbage time bucket.”

Joe Burrow would have been well within his rights to quit football today

I’m sure you’ve seen this hit already, but take a look again. Burrow got up after this hit 😳 — PFF (@PFF) September 27, 2020 Did Burrow shit in Malik Jackson’s Cheerios this morning or what the fuck happened? You don’t often try to separate a man’s head from his body, unless he screwsContinue reading “Joe Burrow would have been well within his rights to quit football today”