James Harden Is Leading The Charge For “Thiccck Boy Summer”

In case you haven’t seen our chonk king yet, take a look this big boy body. During a month typically known for weight loss resolution’s that result in crowded gyms, record quinoa sales, and self hatred, James Harden is shaping his body a bit differently. He’s traded in the leafy greens, dumbells, and diet pillsContinue reading “James Harden Is Leading The Charge For “Thiccck Boy Summer””

B1G Football is thriving after a Sugar Bowl dub and a historic Mayo Bowl victory.

The SEC may still reign supreme in the college football realm but the Wisconsin Badgers made a statement this week. With a resounding victory over a juggernaut Wake Forest team, the Badgers reminded the world that the Big Ten is not a conference to fuck with. In a memorable matchup between a 3-3 Wisconsin teamContinue reading “B1G Football is thriving after a Sugar Bowl dub and a historic Mayo Bowl victory.”

Machine Gun Kelly’s little brother mean mugs the Lakers after a garbage time bucket.

Here’s a photo of the moment I’m referencing. You may know this guy as “a bucket” because if you want 13.5 points per game, he’s you’re man. Now bucket exceeded expectations in Game 3 of the NBA Finals with 17 points. He added a whopping 3 rebounds and 2 assists just to make sure weContinue reading “Machine Gun Kelly’s little brother mean mugs the Lakers after a garbage time bucket.”

Joe Burrow would have been well within his rights to quit football today

I’m sure you’ve seen this hit already, but take a look again. Burrow got up after this hit 😳 pic.twitter.com/E3I7LTMUWJ — PFF (@PFF) September 27, 2020 Did Burrow shit in Malik Jackson’s Cheerios this morning or what the fuck happened? You don’t often try to separate a man’s head from his body, unless he screwsContinue reading “Joe Burrow would have been well within his rights to quit football today”

Aaron Rodgers filmed an X rated movie in US Bank Stadium today

Not only did he film an X rated movie, but he also very likely committed a federal crime as he crossed state lines to do it. If you’re a Packer fan, you probably think you’ve just witnessed football porn. An aggressive Dom/Sub type of porn that was so hot you couldn’t stop watching but wasContinue reading “Aaron Rodgers filmed an X rated movie in US Bank Stadium today”

Unbiased Vikings vs. Packers Preview

Vikings by a billion. Minnesota may lose the “porn star mustache” competition to the Packers. They may lose the “sexiest head coach” competition to the Packers. They may lose the “who’s quarterback can love their family least” competition. They may lose the “worst attempt at beer chugging” competition. They may lose the “ugliest uniforms” competition.Continue reading “Unbiased Vikings vs. Packers Preview”

Tiger Wood Is +8 And I Want To Die.

There is a chance this title is an overreaction. It’s not though. During Round 1 of the BMW Championship on Thursday, Eldrick golfed like Mark Sanchez quarterbacked and put up an abysmal 73. But the greatest golfer of all time was not to be denied. Tiger teed off for Round 2 on Friday looking toContinue reading “Tiger Wood Is +8 And I Want To Die.”

One does not simply get traded for a 7th round pick by passing physicals

This is classic a classic “you get what you pay for scenario.” You don’t trade a rusted out Ford Pinto and expect a working Ford Mustang in return. No, you trade a rust out Pinto and in return you get a 6 foot, 308 lb StarKist tuna can shaped, chode of man who runs aContinue reading “One does not simply get traded for a 7th round pick by passing physicals”

What it’s like to be an essential employee

I’m no hero. I put my pants on one leg a time just like everyone else. The only difference between me and you is that I’m essential to the proper functioning of planet earth. That responsibility would stress most people out. The weight of the world is literally on my shoulders, but luckily I’ve neverContinue reading “What it’s like to be an essential employee”

Dear John Is An Abomination Of A Movie

I don’t hate romantic movies. I’ve watched a few in my day and they’re mostly fine. The Notebook? An excellent film. A Star is Born? Great. The Titanic? A classic. But honestly Dear John is big pile horse shit. Yea, that looks about right. I watched Dear John for the first time a few daysContinue reading “Dear John Is An Abomination Of A Movie”

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