Spencer Jones’ Rumble In A Toilet Filled Jungle

I didn’t know this man existed until I saw the video of him being used as human piss mop on a bar bathroom floor. I don’t know if he deserved that treatment or not, I saw the same video everyone else did. I don’t know any details. But what I do know is that if you’re going to get into a bar scrap, you need to come harder than that.

Spencer got absolutely molly whopped by one of the most unsuspecting gentlemen I’ve ever seen. He got dog walked in one of the worst places you could ever end up on on all fours with a leash around your neck.

Unfortunately, at one time or another, we’ve all had to take a leak in the bathroom of a crowded bar. On your way to a clogged and overflowing urinal, you have to wade through a musty sea of piss, vomit, spilled drinks, and bro’s.

Minutes before Spencer and his denim clad buddy would get a chance to taste this shining sea, they offended the absolute wrong bro. Rumor has it this guy trains in MMA. By the looks of things, I’d say he definitely trains in MMA. In the blink of an eye this dude unleashed a bitch slap, two quick jabs, and a suplex that landed Spencer face first on a floor that likely gets mopped with a bucket full of stale beer and rat shit. Not to be left out of the fun, captain jean jacket would soon find himself tongue polishing grout as well.

This was a tough showing for two dudes who appeared to be playing the tough guy role. You can’t shove someone and then proceed to put up less of a fight than France did in World War 2. The moment you push another man, you should be ready for combat, but nothing says “I’m going to get my ass kicked” like a jean jacket. I hope denim doesn’t absorb puke and tequila well, it would be awful if that jacket got ruined.

My advice to Spencer, aside from take literally any kind of fighting lessons, would be to stop playing sports. Quit the football team before next season because each and every one of your opponents are going to spend four full quarters lighting you up for that video. Nothing you do on the field can overcome what happened in that fight. No amount of stat sheet stuffing on the field can overcome being ridden across the floor and donkey punched in the same room where people poop by a short guy in cowboy boots.

I do honestly hope his eye is okay though.

Published by G Spot Sneakers

Follow me on twitter ( @ZimNeedsANewOC ) to interact, get the latest blogs, and hear my thoughts on the Vikings and everything sports related. Currently trying to lure free agents with tweets. Teddy Bridgewater stan. Love me a good GIF. Extremely serious at all times.

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