Oh Randy Moss, you truly are the GOAT.
No not that Randy Moss!
There he is. Glorious. Dripping with so much talent and swagger it almost pulled his pants right off. That man went out and grabbed 4 for 70 yards with 2 touchdowns as a road underdog, including a 34 yard game sealing score that was so spicy Randy had to pull his b-hole out in the midst of a Green Bay winter to cool it off. He should have pulled his balls out honestly, he would have been well within his rights after that game.
The Vikings were 6 point underdogs in Green Bay on that fine evening, and as we all know they pulled off a 31-17 upset. This afternoon they are 7 point underdogs in San Francisco, and if they plan on pulling of another upset, someone on the team better be ready to show some ass. I’m dead serious. Imagine the spark that would give, just a big white, black, or brown, FU to those hippy Californians in the stands. It would be electric. A shot of a Viking moon on the jumbotron would be a shot of life into the Vikings sideline. Imagine a deep ball to Diggs, maybe a 40 yard score, and then he saunters over to the goal post, bends over, and drops trou. It would give the front row a heart attack. That’s how you take control of a game. Sometimes you have to uncover and spread your cheeks before you can cover the spread. Maybe after a Dalvin Cook rushing touchdown, instead of selecting a lineman for a ball spike he selects a lineman for a little bit of ball showing. Pat Elflein seems like he would love to batwing the crowd. It gets the people going!
Al Michaels and Cris Collinsworth are calling the game. They better not be as prude as Joe Buck, who clearly has sex with a shirt on, because this game is going be a little R-rated.
Winston Churchill once said “Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it” and I for one don’t remember reading about the Moss Moon in a damn textbook.
Sometimes you have bend over to move forward.
Skol
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