Long Live Dusty Gooch

The NHL may not have been able to deliver us the best outdoor game today, but unbeknownst to them, they gave us something so much better. The National Hockey League introduced us to local front line worker Dusty Gooch. Unfortunately, many people on the internet took this chance to taint their timelines with crude jokes,Continue reading “Long Live Dusty Gooch”

A Drew Brees Return?

ICYMI, Twitter has been buzzing lately regarding a possible Drew Brees return to New Orleans to “run it back.” Surprisingly, it was a rare topic that Twitter seemed to agree on because it would be such a disaster if old man Brees suited up for another season. It’s hard to imagine what exactly Brees wouldContinue reading “A Drew Brees Return?”

James Harden Is Leading The Charge For “Thiccck Boy Summer”

In case you haven’t seen our chonk king yet, take a look this big boy body. During a month typically known for weight loss resolution’s that result in crowded gyms, record quinoa sales, and self hatred, James Harden is shaping his body a bit differently. He’s traded in the leafy greens, dumbells, and diet pillsContinue reading “James Harden Is Leading The Charge For “Thiccck Boy Summer””

Joe Burrow would have been well within his rights to quit football today

I’m sure you’ve seen this hit already, but take a look again. Burrow got up after this hit 😳 pic.twitter.com/E3I7LTMUWJ — PFF (@PFF) September 27, 2020 Did Burrow shit in Malik Jackson’s Cheerios this morning or what the fuck happened? You don’t often try to separate a man’s head from his body, unless he screwsContinue reading “Joe Burrow would have been well within his rights to quit football today”

Aaron Rodgers filmed an X rated movie in US Bank Stadium today

Not only did he film an X rated movie, but he also very likely committed a federal crime as he crossed state lines to do it. If you’re a Packer fan, you probably think you’ve just witnessed football porn. An aggressive Dom/Sub type of porn that was so hot you couldn’t stop watching but wasContinue reading “Aaron Rodgers filmed an X rated movie in US Bank Stadium today”

Unbiased Vikings vs. Packers Preview

Vikings by a billion. Minnesota may lose the “porn star mustache” competition to the Packers. They may lose the “sexiest head coach” competition to the Packers. They may lose the “who’s quarterback can love their family least” competition. They may lose the “worst attempt at beer chugging” competition. They may lose the “ugliest uniforms” competition.Continue reading “Unbiased Vikings vs. Packers Preview”

Tiger Wood Is +8 And I Want To Die.

There is a chance this title is an overreaction. It’s not though. During Round 1 of the BMW Championship on Thursday, Eldrick golfed like Mark Sanchez quarterbacked and put up an abysmal 73. But the greatest golfer of all time was not to be denied. Tiger teed off for Round 2 on Friday looking toContinue reading “Tiger Wood Is +8 And I Want To Die.”

One does not simply get traded for a 7th round pick by passing physicals

This is classic a classic “you get what you pay for scenario.” You don’t trade a rusted out Ford Pinto and expect a working Ford Mustang in return. No, you trade a rust out Pinto and in return you get a 6 foot, 308 lb StarKist tuna can shaped, chode of man who runs aContinue reading “One does not simply get traded for a 7th round pick by passing physicals”

Dear John Is An Abomination Of A Movie

I don’t hate romantic movies. I’ve watched a few in my day and they’re mostly fine. The Notebook? An excellent film. A Star is Born? Great. The Titanic? A classic. But honestly Dear John is big pile horse shit. Yea, that looks about right. I watched Dear John for the first time a few daysContinue reading “Dear John Is An Abomination Of A Movie”

Stefon Diggs Defending Sam Bradford Is A Wild Move.

What a fucking tweet. So Diggs didn’t want to play with Kirk Cousins in Minnesota because apparently he’s not good enough to throw to a Walmart brand No. 1 wide receiver, but somehow Diggs thinks Sammy Buckets is “pretty damn good”? And don’t forget, he’s “pretty damn good” “when healthy” which was mostly never. Let’sContinue reading “Stefon Diggs Defending Sam Bradford Is A Wild Move.”

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