Valentine’s Day Sports Poems

LeBron James wears purple. Sometimes he dresses in yellow. Weed chills me out. But it didn’t make Dion Waiters feel too mellow.

Violets are nice. Roses are basic. Will Jameis Winston be good? He just got Lasik.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Kirk Cousins is my quarterback. Sometimes he plays like poo.

Roses are red. Violets make me scoff. He took his team to the Super Bowl. But the Rams still overpaid Jared Goff.

Rose are red. I’m wearing a blue hat. I think a curve ball is coming. The Astros are banging a bat.

Roses are red. Receiving tulips is a jinx. Minnesota beat the Saints. Because Michael Thomas stinks.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. So is my head. ‘Cause Myles Garrett took my helmet too.

Violets are blue. Roses are red. Look out, that’s Myles Garrett! Make sure you protect your head.

Roses are red. Minnesota kickers make me feel blue. The Falcons can’t understand. They have Younghoe Koo.

Chickens are not red. Cows are not blue. Pigs say “oink.” Cody Parkey double doinked.

Roses are red. Football should be played in a dome. The Bears still suck. Because they took Trubisky instated of Pat Mahomes.

LeBron James. Anthony Davus. Best in the West. They hate us because they ain’t us.

Roses are red. Violets fill me with glee. No one sent Atlanta flowers. Despite being buried after leading 28 to 3.

Roses are red. Violets are blue and bold. Don’t pay Tom Brady. He’s fucking too old.