Machine Gun Kelly’s little brother mean mugs the Lakers after a garbage time bucket.

Here’s a photo of the moment I’m referencing. You may know this guy as “a bucket” because if you want 13.5 points per game, he’s you’re man. Now bucket exceeded expectations in Game 3 of the NBA Finals with 17 points. He added a whopping 3 rebounds and 2 assists just to make sure weContinue reading “Machine Gun Kelly’s little brother mean mugs the Lakers after a garbage time bucket.”

Rudy Gobert? More like Rudy Doneshare (The Coronavirus)

More like Rudy Nocare (about the coronavirus). Come the fuck on Rudy! Rudolph Gobert. You’re 7’1″! How the hell did you even get the coronavirus? At that height you should be breathing in nice fresh air with every breath, not the recycled, germ infested, fart air the rest of us 6 foot plebeians are swappingContinue reading “Rudy Gobert? More like Rudy Doneshare (The Coronavirus)”

Golden State Fans Had Their Prayers Answered Today

So if you haven’t heard, the Golden State Warriors will be playing at home in front of approximately zero fans. Essentially this will just be a Warriors game from the pre Steph Curry era. It looks like the Lord hath smiled down upon the city of San Francisco on this Wednesday the 11th, in theContinue reading “Golden State Fans Had Their Prayers Answered Today”

Draymond Green Shouldn’t Be Allowed In The Same State As Charles Barkley

Draymond is a very good basketball player. In spurts, he’s been a great basketball player. He was an integral part of the championships he won, but he was third and fourth best player on those teams. Barkley “can’t sit at this table.” What a joke. Has Draymond never watched Charles Barkley play ball? The RoundContinue reading “Draymond Green Shouldn’t Be Allowed In The Same State As Charles Barkley”

If Zion Develops A Three Ball That’s Money From The Locker Room And Hits Up A Pizza Ranch, He Could Be As Good As Snacks Lee

Snacks is a big boy, that’s no secret, but he’s a big boy with a jumper that is “straight cash homie” from the opposing teams showers, and that was a secret until March 2nd 2020. It was a secret until he hit the shot heard ’round the world. With a name like Snacks it’s onlyContinue reading “If Zion Develops A Three Ball That’s Money From The Locker Room And Hits Up A Pizza Ranch, He Could Be As Good As Snacks Lee”

My Hottest Takes (Sports and Other)

Tom Brady is currently the most overrated player in the NFL. Fajitas are gross. Pineapple belongs on pizza. I would not draft Joe Burrow #1 overall, I wouldn’t even take him as the first QB. NFL football should always be played in a dome. NFL football and NBA Basketball > College (Except March Madness). TheContinue reading “My Hottest Takes (Sports and Other)”

Top Ten Realistic (Kind Of) Trade Destinations For Stefon Diggs

FedEx for Denny Hamlin (proven winner) Huston Roughnecks for P.J. Walker (cheap replacement QB?) DC Defenders for Cardale Jones (cheap replacement QB??) New York Mets for Tim Tebow (our very own Taysom Hill) Cleveland Cavaliers for Kevin Love (he for sure wants out, could play in a few spots) Beijing Ducks for Jeremy Lin andContinue reading “Top Ten Realistic (Kind Of) Trade Destinations For Stefon Diggs”

How I Would Make The Dunk Contest Better

Trampolines. Have you ever watched Slam Ball? It is completely and utterly exhilarating. I don’t understand why it’s not the most watched sport in the world. It’s so fucking fun to watch. Go look it up on YouTube! But have a sock close by because you’re going to cum in your pants (no shame). IContinue reading “How I Would Make The Dunk Contest Better”

Valentine’s Day Sports Poems

LeBron James wears purple. Sometimes he dresses in yellow. Weed chills me out. But it didn’t make Dion Waiters feel too mellow. Violets are nice. Roses are basic. Will Jameis Winston be good? He just got Lasik. Roses are red. Violets are blue. Kirk Cousins is my quarterback. Sometimes he plays like poo. Roses areContinue reading “Valentine’s Day Sports Poems”

Nick Wright Is A Clown For This

Oh Nick, just when I thought your face couldn’t get any dumber your mouth uttered that statement. I know he’s in the business of saying dumb shit just to get a reaction out of people, it’s why most shows on FS1 and ESPN are unwatchable now (I’ve never watched First Things First), but hey, I’mContinue reading “Nick Wright Is A Clown For This”

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