I See Way Too Much Porn On Twitter

Typically I stick to sports, or sports adjacent topics, but I need to vent.

I would estimate that 33.33% of the time I am on Twitter I see a dick and balls, and it’s terrible. 1 out of every 3 times I open up Twitter, I scroll across a cock. Sometimes it’s being sucked, sometimes it’s in an asshole, and sometimes it’s just there lurking, haunting me.

It needs to stop. I’m afraid to open up Twitter anywhere public. Last night I opened the app, refreshed it, and was forced to see some dude getting head. Imagine if I would have been at work when that happened. Then I’d be the creepy porn guy no one wants to eat lunch with.

If I wanted porn, I could find it by myself. I don’t need people on Twitter helping me out. I don’t need an NBA highlight video that turns into aggressive car sex halfway through. Let me watch LeBron and Zion dunk on chumps without having to see a facial from Slade “The Cherry Popper” Johnson in the process. Stop the madness.

“But what about the naked women that you get to see?!”

Yea that’s great and all but I’m not a 15 year old horn dog who jerks it thirteen times a day. I don’t need to see tits and ass constantly. In fact, I need a break. It is simply too much.

I never thought I said this, but enough with the tits.

Published by G Spot Sneakers

Follow me on twitter ( @ZimNeedsANewOC ) to interact, get the latest blogs, and hear my thoughts on the Vikings and everything sports related. Currently trying to lure free agents with tweets. Teddy Bridgewater stan. Love me a good GIF. Refuses to take anything seriously.

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