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Dick Pound

If you don’t know, Dick Pound is a longtime member of the International Olympic Committee (IOC). He’s also the proud owner of the most alpha name in all the world. Word has it, his family crest features a BBC.

Apparently, Time Magazine named him as one of the 100 Most Influential People in the World, which is not surprising given that absolute big, swinging, hammer of a name. He was also a competitive swimmer which actually is surprising since there is a 100% chance he has a fucking yacht anchor between his legs.

The fact that Mr. Pound publicly goes by Dick instead of Richard, means that he is the scariest man in the world. You don’t casually walk around on three legs with a name like Dick Pound unless you can kill a man with his own fingernail.

Dick Pound. I mean come on. Every single teacher he’s ever had thought this was a prank on his first day of school. It’s like Cook Pu from HIMYM.

A classic gag.

I’d love to go to the Olympics someday but I don’t want my girl anywhere near a man like Dick Pound, because even if he is 100 years old, he’s got dick game and swagger I can’t compete with. No chance he doesn’t cuck the shit out of me.

Despite how truly terrifying Dick is, I sleep safer at night knowing that he’s out there. He’s a real life super hero, like Thor, except his hammer is shaped like a mushroom.

Long live Dick “The Pussy Hound” Pound.

Published by G Spot Sneakers

Follow me on twitter ( @ZimNeedsANewOC ) to interact, get the latest blogs, and hear my thoughts on the Vikings and everything sports related. Currently trying to lure free agents with tweets. Teddy Bridgewater stan. Love me a good GIF. Extremely serious at all times.

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