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Hey Cleveland, You Can Try To Build Minnesota East, But You Can’t Polish A Turd.

I fully understand trying to emulate the Minnesota Vikings. It’s a classy, successful organization with the best fans in the world and they get to play football in beautiful Minneapolis. There is a lot to be jealous of. But no matter how many of their coaches you hire, or try to hire, you won’t be able to replicate what they have.

You can hire Kevin Stefanski, Jeff Howard, Joe Woods, and Mike Priefer but you’ll never be the Vikings. Not even signing Sheldon Richardson will help. That must be a hard pill to swallow, but you have to understand that the Browns are, and always will be, a turd.

You’re located in Ohio, that’s an L. I could run my car off of Cleveland river water, that’s an L. You haven’t been to the playoffs since 2002, take another L. You’ve only had two winning season since 1999, L. You probably like chili on top of spaghetti, an abomination L. You took Baker Mayfield number one overall, L.

The list goes on and on.

George Paton had enough sense to run away from that dump and come back home to Minnesota. I don’t know what scared him away, maybe a tour of your city or the team facilities? Did you take him to skyline for a hot plate of roadkill, back sweat, spaghetti chili? In Minnesota we take people out for steaks during a business lunch, try that next time.

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I truly understand the effort, but you must know that it’s in vain. Your destiny is to be a bottom shelf, laughing stock football team stuck in a city about as desirable as Pripyat.

Enjoy 5-11.

Skol

Published by G Spot Sneakers

Follow me on twitter ( @ZimNeedsANewOC ) to interact, get the latest blogs, and hear my thoughts on the Vikings and everything sports related. Currently trying to lure free agents with tweets. Teddy Bridgewater stan. Love me a good GIF. Extremely serious at all times.

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