ICYMI, Twitter has been buzzing lately regarding a possible Drew Brees return to New Orleans to “run it back.”
Surprisingly, it was a rare topic that Twitter seemed to agree on because it would be such a disaster if old man Brees suited up for another season.
It’s hard to imagine what exactly Brees would want to run back. The 36 broken ribs? The torn up shoulder? The collapsed lung? The 3 interception playoff loss? Not a whole lot of bright spots, and at age 42 with a shoulder that seems to be held together about as well as two sausage links, not a lot of reason to abandon mornings with The Price Is Right and Deal Or No Deal for a day job where over grown men are paid to physically and emotionally abuse you.
Maybe he just wants to best Tom Brady.
I’m sure it’s hard to watch 43 year old Brady come into your division and win the Super Bowl after knocking you out of the playoffs, but Tom is a freak of nature despite being a middle aged, moderately athletic, white guy with a body like a bag of milk, and Drew needs to give up trying to compete with him. Tom would rather put his lips on his sons mouth than om a strawberry or a tomato, which is a level of psycho that simply can’t be beat.
When Famous Jameis is the better option for deep throws, you know it’s time to hang up the jock and prepare for the Depends. It’s not often a coach prefers a blind quarterback who once threw 30 interceptions, but apparently your vision being limited to 10 yards is better than your arm being limited to 10 yards.
What I’m trying to say here is that it’s time for Drew Brees to move on. His diminished abilities are holding the Saints back, and although there is not much in life that I love more than watching the Saints lose in the playoffs, it’s getting hard to watch Brees throw the ball like he’s a slow pitch softball pitcher whose had one too many PBR’s in a league meant for board Dads trying to reclaim their glory days.
He looks like 50 Cent throwing at the Mets game for christ’s sake.
It’s time to hang it up, you’ve had a fine career. Don’t try to run anything back, don’t even try to run anyone.