In case you haven’t seen our chonk king yet, take a look this big boy body.
During a month typically known for weight loss resolution’s that result in crowded gyms, record quinoa sales, and self hatred, James Harden is shaping his body a bit differently.
He’s traded in the leafy greens, dumbells, and diet pills for strip club ribs, full strength beer, and an exercise program created by Mike McCarthy. Somehow, in between slugging bud heavys with a fistful of wet naps, and performing 10 sets of laying down, he still finds time to play professional basketball. Luckily for us, all that work on the court hasn’t negatively affected his body.
Say what you will, but James Harden has created the ideal Male body, and just in time. We’ve still got a few months left to get into buffet shape before summer hits and it’s time for suns out flabby guns out, or blue skys and wide thighs.
Hot girl summer was great, but I don’t remember seeing any one of those ladies averaging 26 ppg with their size 0 waists. So if we’ve learned one thing, size matters, and from the looks of things a 42 inch waist should do it if you want to penetrate the lane deep enough.
I’ve already canceled my gym membership and downloaded the Domino’s app. So when you see me dominating pick up games in the gym and spike ball on the beach this summer with a body like a six lane backroad just know that I, like Harden, didn’t take any days off to achieve it.
It’s time to pick up the fork and get to work, Thiccck Boy Summer is approaching.