Aaron Rodgers filmed an X rated movie in US Bank Stadium today

Not only did he film an X rated movie, but he also very likely committed a federal crime as he crossed state lines to do it.

If you’re a Packer fan, you probably think you’ve just witnessed football porn. An aggressive Dom/Sub type of porn that was so hot you couldn’t stop watching but was so graphic you had to wince at times. But through it all you got to see the Packers finish multiple times in the endzone.

If you’re a Viking fan you just witnessed 60 minutes of unnecessary roughness and illegal touching from an old grey haired man with a creepy mustache. Not exactly porn, but people definitely got fucked.

Let’s review the tape.

The only thing looser than MVS’ grip on the ball was Minnesota’s coverage. The Packers’, apparently injured, offensive line (could have fooled me) was making truck sized running lanes like they were still having to block for Eddie Lacy’s wide ass. Meanwhile Yannick Ngakoue was in such a hurry to get out of Jacksonville that he forgot to pack his talent and move it with him to Minneapolis. On the bright side, he, and every other defensive player, was never within six feet of Rodgers so this game is Fauci approved (Probably the first ever social distancing joke!) because even though Rodgers handed out STD’s all game he was never in the position to give a Viking covid-19. And last but not least the offensive line was pass blocking like Kirk Cousins personally offended each and every one of them.

Okay, I’m ready to move on. Still have high hopes for this team, it was just one game, and the first in the strangest NFL season ever. Minnesota always has some ugly games, even during good seasons. On to the next.