What it’s like to be an essential employee

I’m no hero. I put my pants on one leg a time just like everyone else. The only difference between me and you is that I’m essential to the proper functioning of planet earth. That responsibility would stress most people out. The weight of the world is literally on my shoulders, but luckily I’ve neverContinue reading “What it’s like to be an essential employee”

The art of goosing

A goose. Not the annoying waterfowl. No, its something much more elegant, more cunning, and simpler than that particular creature. A goose is a simple poke in buttocks. A gentle but firm prod that just peaks through the doorway to your sphincter. It’s a greeting of sorts. Not like the traditional wave, handshake, high five,Continue reading “The art of goosing”

The Art Of A No Wiper

Trying times often require us to find strength and greatness within ourselves that we didn’t know we had. It may sound cliche, but difficult times bring out the best in people. It brings out abilities we didn’t know we had. Adversity makes us innovate, it makes think in ways we’ve never thought before, and itContinue reading “The Art Of A No Wiper”

It Is Time To Fully Commit To NASCAR

So NASCAR is one of the last sports left (insert left turn joke), and luckily for us, it’s also one of the most electric. Who would have thought stock car racing would stand the test of time? Go ahead and make your joke about only turning left, call it boring, say it’s only for rednecks,Continue reading “It Is Time To Fully Commit To NASCAR”

Rudy Gobert? More like Rudy Doneshare (The Coronavirus)

More like Rudy Nocare (about the coronavirus). Come the fuck on Rudy! Rudolph Gobert. You’re 7’1″! How the hell did you even get the coronavirus? At that height you should be breathing in nice fresh air with every breath, not the recycled, germ infested, fart air the rest of us 6 foot plebeians are swappingContinue reading “Rudy Gobert? More like Rudy Doneshare (The Coronavirus)”

Golden State Fans Had Their Prayers Answered Today

So if you haven’t heard, the Golden State Warriors will be playing at home in front of approximately zero fans. Essentially this will just be a Warriors game from the pre Steph Curry era. It looks like the Lord hath smiled down upon the city of San Francisco on this Wednesday the 11th, in theContinue reading “Golden State Fans Had Their Prayers Answered Today”

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