If you’re a serious Vikings fan than this title needs no explanation. This is an older one that B Rob asked around the locker room back in the good old days when Xavier Rhodes was awesome, Captain Munnerlyn was solid, the defense was 2nd to none, and we had Alex Boone, who if nothing else, was great entertainment on 96 questions. PLUS WE STILL HAD B ROB DOING 96 QUESTIONS (RIP to the show).
I went down a bit of YouTube rabbit hole today and decided to answer this question myself using the current roster, because who better to pick a Vegas Dream Team of Vikings players than someone who knows them all intimately*.
So let’s dive in.
- Kirk Cousins.
Settle down. Settle the fuck down and let me explain. Every group needs a Dad for two reasons. First, Dad isn’t going to drink too much, Dad is going to get you home, Dad will keep you out of trouble, Dad will force feed you water and saltines while you puke in the toilet, Dad will take care of you. Next, when you were in your 20’s did you ever go out to the bars with your parents or maybe with a friend and their parents? The parents bankroll the entire night. That is Kirk’s job. He’s been getting PAID the last few years, so he’s funding this trip. He’s buying our way into all the clubs, getting us the nicest suites, and renting the hottest cars. Thanks Dad.
2. Everson Griffen.
It’s good to have a wild card in your group, someone borderline crazy, a risk taker. Everson is going to take you to the places that are just a little bit too sketchy for the average person. These are the places where the phrase “what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” was invented. They are also the places where you have the time of your life. Griffen’s going to make you experiment, he’s going to push the boundaries, he’s the guy that gets you a night that resembles The Hangover. He’s also a giant freak of nature. Griff is the body guard, and the enforcer. He is the ultimate Vegas Swiss Army Knife.
3. Mike Hughes.
Cool, calm, collected, and a ladies man, that is Mike Hughes. Now the three C’s sound like a Dad trait but they aren’t. He’s still drinking, he’s still gambling, and he’s still sticking Dad’s dollar bills in places your actual Dad hasn’t seen in years, but he can handle the pressure of any situation. The guys got ice in his veins (Love you D-Lo) and a resting heart beat so low even that “nurse” on stage is concerned. He’s the ultimate glue guy, and he can adapt to and have fun in any situation. Mike is the guy who makes a group of goons actually look cool. He’s the hot girl less attractive girls try to hang around. If Kirk’s money isn’t getting us into that club, than the shear coolness of Mike Hughes is.
What a motley crew.
*Has never met any of the players.