Oh my god.

Wow! Did not see that coming. I was pessimistic about this game, and why wouldn’t I be. Minnesota has a nasty habit of not showing up for big games, and the Saints are always a tough win (feels physical pain after writing that). The Saints didn’t play the game I expected (credit to the Vikes), maybe no one had an extra $10,000 to throw around (gumbo sales are down?), or maybe they didn’t feel the need to try and take out Kirk Dirt. Either way, they looked off. Minnesota however, finally looked on. The defense looked good, at times incredible (dims lights, turns of replays of Hunter and Griffen, grabs lotion), Rhodes looked better than just a traffic cone, and the offense was clicking, thanks in large part to Chef Cook. It was the perfect game for an underdog road team. The Vikings were even kind enough to not stray too far from their identity and give us a few heart attacks. I may never forgive Cook for his “fumble” returned for a TD. But thanks to the softest damn hands in the world (looking at you Rudy) they ate a W? got a W? They won.

If I’m Zimmer and the boys I’m hitting Bourbon Street, and I’m hitting it hard, and once Kirk is a little loose (3 white claws or 2 Bud Heavys) I’m finding a 2nd line, marching down to Cam Jordans house, and I’m having Kirk take a loose Joe Dirt right on his Saints themed welcome mat.

What a game.

T minus 13 hours

I would rather watch Tom Brady and Bill Belichick win a 7th Super Bowl than watch the New Orleans Saints win another one. I despise the Saints (not you Teddy) just as much as I despise the Packers. JUST AS MUCH. I don’t care how likable Drew Brees supposedly is, watching him win physically pains me. Don’t even get me started about Sean Payton *cough* douche *cough*. Because of this, Vikings vs Saint on January 5th is my Super Bowl. If the Vikings win I’ll be piss drunk for two days wearing horns on my head downing Jose shots like it’s some sort of Scandinavian Cinco De Mayo. Honestly if they lose I may do the same thing, add tears.

I’m realistic, this team (probably?) can’t make a run. There are just too many glaring holes. So I plan on making this upcoming Sunday, Super Bowl Sunday, because knocking the Saints out of the playoffs would feel about as good as the first time you learned how to…you know.. take a long shower, which I assume is about how good it feels to hoist that Trophy that shall not be named (I’d rather scream “Voldemort” in Godric’s Hollow).

Even though I’m doubtful, I am a fan. So let’s see if Kirt Dirt can turn up the Def Leppard, get off his sister (turns out it wasn’t his sister), and drop a couple of Boeing Bombs to Diggs and Thielen in the end zone.

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