Hot Take: Football Should Be Played In A Dome

Over the course of my life I have developed a variety of strong opinions and hot takes. These range from Oreos being a below average cookie without milk, to Tom Brady currently being the most overrated player in the NFL. One of my absolute hottest takes is that NFL football should be played in aContinue reading “Hot Take: Football Should Be Played In A Dome”

Minnesota Vikings 1st Round Pick: Michael Turk

A punter threw up 25 reps on the bench press!? Are you kidding me? FYI: no tight end or wide receiver beat that. This dude just sauntered into the NFL combine ready to punt the football around for a little while, and then decided to shit on two of the most talented position groups. TheyContinue reading “Minnesota Vikings 1st Round Pick: Michael Turk”

The Ultimate Rick Spielman Mock Draft

This is the draft Rick Spielman will have wet dreams about. Round 1 pick: Trade it for a 2020 second round pick and a 2021 first round pick. Round 2 first pick: Trade if for a 2020 third and a 2020 fourth. Round 2 second pick: Trade it for a a 2020 second and aContinue reading “The Ultimate Rick Spielman Mock Draft”

Stefon Diggs Ain’t Leaving

Big Dick Rick Spielman to Diggs earlier today: That’s what I’m talking about Slick Rick. He gets it. He laughed directly in the face of the idea of trading Diggs. He laughed in everyone’s big dumb faces. Trade one of your best players, in his prime? Not in Ricks house. No fucking chance. He knowsContinue reading “Stefon Diggs Ain’t Leaving”

Packers Gearing Up For Another Season By Paying A Kicker $13 Million

Signing a 35 year old kicker to a three year deal worth $13 million? Couldn’t be me. The Packers should be trying to design their roster to take some of the load off of their aging, slightly washed quarterback. Instead they decided to pay a kicker. Talk about on brand for a team that draftedContinue reading “Packers Gearing Up For Another Season By Paying A Kicker $13 Million”

Marshawn Lynch In Westworld???

According to a recent ESPN article, Marshawn Lynch has a “pretty substantial role” in HBO’s “Westworld.” This didn’t come from out of left field, this came from fucking Andromeda. The left field of Andromeda to be exact. If you’ve never seen Westworld, go check it, and then you’ll understand my bewilderment. I love Marshawn (doesn’tContinue reading “Marshawn Lynch In Westworld???”

Top Ten Realistic (Kind Of) Trade Destinations For Stefon Diggs

FedEx for Denny Hamlin (proven winner) Huston Roughnecks for P.J. Walker (cheap replacement QB?) DC Defenders for Cardale Jones (cheap replacement QB??) New York Mets for Tim Tebow (our very own Taysom Hill) Cleveland Cavaliers for Kevin Love (he for sure wants out, could play in a few spots) Beijing Ducks for Jeremy Lin andContinue reading “Top Ten Realistic (Kind Of) Trade Destinations For Stefon Diggs”

20 Reasons Chris Harris Jr. Should Come And Play For The Minnesota Vikings

0 cases of the corona virus have been reported in Minnesota. Stefon Diggs seems to love it here! It’s close to Canada, in case you like international travel. You’ll be able to learn from our very own, Xavier Rhodes! Unless he gets cut of course (please cut him). He was once very good. Minneapolis SculptureContinue reading “20 Reasons Chris Harris Jr. Should Come And Play For The Minnesota Vikings”

Drew Brees Is Returning Just So He Can Try To Beat The Minnesota Vikings.

I guess he wants to “make another run at it.” Laughable. Drew just wants another shot at the Saints Stoppers. Well, come and get it little man. Drew should have retired. There is still time, and I honestly hope he reconsiders. On the off chance his sorry ass get back into the playoffs, he willContinue reading “Drew Brees Is Returning Just So He Can Try To Beat The Minnesota Vikings.”

Valentine’s Day Sports Poems

LeBron James wears purple. Sometimes he dresses in yellow. Weed chills me out. But it didn’t make Dion Waiters feel too mellow. Violets are nice. Roses are basic. Will Jameis Winston be good? He just got Lasik. Roses are red. Violets are blue. Kirk Cousins is my quarterback. Sometimes he plays like poo. Roses areContinue reading “Valentine’s Day Sports Poems”

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