G Spot Sneakers

Packers Gearing Up For Another Season By Paying A Kicker $13 Million

Signing a 35 year old kicker to a three year deal worth $13 million? Couldn’t be me. The Packers should be trying to design their roster to take some of the load off of their aging, slightly washed quarterback. Instead they decided to pay a kicker. Talk about on brand for a team that draftedContinue reading “Packers Gearing Up For Another Season By Paying A Kicker $13 Million”

Marshawn Lynch In Westworld???

According to a recent ESPN article, Marshawn Lynch has a “pretty substantial role” in HBO’s “Westworld.” This didn’t come from out of left field, this came from fucking Andromeda. The left field of Andromeda to be exact. If you’ve never seen Westworld, go check it, and then you’ll understand my bewilderment. I love Marshawn (doesn’tContinue reading “Marshawn Lynch In Westworld???”

Top Ten Realistic (Kind Of) Trade Destinations For Stefon Diggs

FedEx for Denny Hamlin (proven winner) Huston Roughnecks for P.J. Walker (cheap replacement QB?) DC Defenders for Cardale Jones (cheap replacement QB??) New York Mets for Tim Tebow (our very own Taysom Hill) Cleveland Cavaliers for Kevin Love (he for sure wants out, could play in a few spots) Beijing Ducks for Jeremy Lin andContinue reading “Top Ten Realistic (Kind Of) Trade Destinations For Stefon Diggs”

20 Reasons Chris Harris Jr. Should Come And Play For The Minnesota Vikings

0 cases of the corona virus have been reported in Minnesota. Stefon Diggs seems to love it here! It’s close to Canada, in case you like international travel. You’ll be able to learn from our very own, Xavier Rhodes! Unless he gets cut of course (please cut him). He was once very good. Minneapolis SculptureContinue reading “20 Reasons Chris Harris Jr. Should Come And Play For The Minnesota Vikings”

Drew Brees Is Returning Just So He Can Try To Beat The Minnesota Vikings.

I guess he wants to “make another run at it.” Laughable. Drew just wants another shot at the Saints Stoppers. Well, come and get it little man. Drew should have retired. There is still time, and I honestly hope he reconsiders. On the off chance his sorry ass get back into the playoffs, he willContinue reading “Drew Brees Is Returning Just So He Can Try To Beat The Minnesota Vikings.”

How I Would Make The Dunk Contest Better

Trampolines. Have you ever watched Slam Ball? It is completely and utterly exhilarating. I don’t understand why it’s not the most watched sport in the world. It’s so fucking fun to watch. Go look it up on YouTube! But have a sock close by because you’re going to cum in your pants (no shame). IContinue reading “How I Would Make The Dunk Contest Better”

NASCAR Needs To Race In The Rain

I drive my car in the rain and the snow all the time. It works just fine, I’ve never had an issue. When I get up at 7:00 AM to go to work (yea I have a job, what of it?) and see rain outside my window, I’ve never once received a call notifying meContinue reading “NASCAR Needs To Race In The Rain”

Are You Kidding Me Tiger!?

Dont worry I’m done with the “poems” for this blog. Not much to say about the performance today by Big Dick Eldrick. He was just bad. Couldn’t putt to save his life. His game never looked quite right after his hot round 1 front 9. It’s hard to say why this course gave him soContinue reading “Are You Kidding Me Tiger!?”

Valentine’s Day Sports Poems

LeBron James wears purple. Sometimes he dresses in yellow. Weed chills me out. But it didn’t make Dion Waiters feel too mellow. Violets are nice. Roses are basic. Will Jameis Winston be good? He just got Lasik. Roses are red. Violets are blue. Kirk Cousins is my quarterback. Sometimes he plays like poo. Roses areContinue reading “Valentine’s Day Sports Poems”

Mike Zimmer Needs To Lean How To Eat Ass Before Valentine’s Day

Rumor has it, Big Daddy Zim is dating this woman. Her name: Katarina Elizabeth Miketin. Her beauty: unquestioned. My dick: Almost as hard as when Tiger Woods won the Masters last year. Zim Dawg is 63 years old. Katarina Elizabeth Miketin is apparently 25 years younger. Let’s do some math. 63 – 25 = 38.Continue reading “Mike Zimmer Needs To Lean How To Eat Ass Before Valentine’s Day”