Are You Kidding Me Tiger!?

Dont worry I’m done with the “poems” for this blog. Not much to say about the performance today by Big Dick Eldrick. He was just bad. Couldn’t putt to save his life. His game never looked quite right after his hot round 1 front 9. It’s hard to say why this course gave him soContinue reading “Are You Kidding Me Tiger!?”

Valentine’s Day Sports Poems

LeBron James wears purple. Sometimes he dresses in yellow. Weed chills me out. But it didn’t make Dion Waiters feel too mellow. Violets are nice. Roses are basic. Will Jameis Winston be good? He just got Lasik. Roses are red. Violets are blue. Kirk Cousins is my quarterback. Sometimes he plays like poo. Roses areContinue reading “Valentine’s Day Sports Poems”

Mike Zimmer Needs To Lean How To Eat Ass Before Valentine’s Day

Rumor has it, Big Daddy Zim is dating this woman. Her name: Katarina Elizabeth Miketin. Her beauty: unquestioned. My dick: Almost as hard as when Tiger Woods won the Masters last year. Zim Dawg is 63 years old. Katarina Elizabeth Miketin is apparently 25 years younger. Let’s do some math. 63 – 25 = 38.Continue reading “Mike Zimmer Needs To Lean How To Eat Ass Before Valentine’s Day”

Vikings Fans Overreacting To Stefon Diggs’ Tweets

Fan Interpretation: Fuck the Vikings, they don’t deserve my loyalty. Bunch of shady ass rats bro, I want out. Kirk Cousins is ass. Minneapolis is a trash city. Trade me. Fan Interpretation: Hey Trevon, pick a team for me to go play for. I’m going to finish my Vikings season strong, but then I’m done.Continue reading “Vikings Fans Overreacting To Stefon Diggs’ Tweets”

My Love-Hate Relationship With This New Dom Capers Hiring.

This is kind of exactly what I wanted the Minnesota Vikings to do. It’s also not quite what I was hoping for. Dom Capers is very capable of bringing new insight and ideas to a defense which got a little stale last year. He’s been regarded as a defensive guru, which could be good forContinue reading “My Love-Hate Relationship With This New Dom Capers Hiring.”

Quick Thoughts On The XFL

In-game, sideline interview are electric. I need them in every sport, and that includes boxing, MMA, NASCAR, and hockey. They are so damn fun. Instant and authentic reactions to the good, bad, and crazy shit that happens on the field. They were a great idea. The authenticity of everything is perfect. Mic’d up coaches areContinue reading “Quick Thoughts On The XFL”

Nick Wright Is A Clown For This

Oh Nick, just when I thought your face couldn’t get any dumber your mouth uttered that statement. I know he’s in the business of saying dumb shit just to get a reaction out of people, it’s why most shows on FS1 and ESPN are unwatchable now (I’ve never watched First Things First), but hey, I’mContinue reading “Nick Wright Is A Clown For This”

Cardale Jones Didn’t Come To The XFL To Play School

Cardale is absolutely slinging it out here. This dude is a grown ass MAN. He is a tank, a man among boys. I need more of him. Thank god college isn’t trying to bring him down anymore. No more bullshit classes for you Cardale, the XFL is your university and the defense is your exam.Continue reading “Cardale Jones Didn’t Come To The XFL To Play School”

Please Stop Trying To Trade Stefon Diggs

Now I don’t know if the Minnesota Vikings are actually thinking about trading Diggs, but Twitter and the media certainly are, and I’d like it to stop. When I’m playing franchise mode in Madden, grinding away every night, ignoring my family, trying to build a Super Bowl roster, do you know what I never do?Continue reading “Please Stop Trying To Trade Stefon Diggs”

I’m Done With The Tom Brady Drama

I’d like to preface this by saying that I’ve always liked Tom Brady, and I’ve actually always wanted him to win when he’s been in the Super Bowl. This is for mainly for two reasons. First, the Vikings are never playing in it, and second, I enjoy greatness. With that being said though I amContinue reading “I’m Done With The Tom Brady Drama”

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