The art of goosing

A goose. Not the annoying waterfowl. No, its something much more elegant, more cunning, and simpler than that particular creature. A goose is a simple poke in buttocks. A gentle but firm prod that just peaks through the doorway to your sphincter. It’s a greeting of sorts. Not like the traditional wave, handshake, high five,Continue reading “The art of goosing”

My application for the Huston Texans GM opening

March 18th, 2020. Janice McNair. Huston Texans. 1NGR Parkway. Huston, Texas 77054. RE: GM Opening Dear Janice McNair, I would not have have traded one of the leagues best and most productive wide receivers, who happens to be in his prime, for a second round pick and a very expensive running back who is alwaysContinue reading “My application for the Huston Texans GM opening”

My beef with Michael Thomas is officially on hold

That’s right. My long running feud with Michael Thomas is now on hold, just like everything else in the world. This feud started years ago, when I chirped him from one of my old Twitter accounts and he actually chirped back, which I respected. I don’t even remember what I tweeted at him anymore, butContinue reading “My beef with Michael Thomas is officially on hold”

The Art Of A No Wiper

Trying times often require us to find strength and greatness within ourselves that we didn’t know we had. It may sound cliche, but difficult times bring out the best in people. It brings out abilities we didn’t know we had. Adversity makes us innovate, it makes think in ways we’ve never thought before, and itContinue reading “The Art Of A No Wiper”

It Is Time To Fully Commit To NASCAR

So NASCAR is one of the last sports left (insert left turn joke), and luckily for us, it’s also one of the most electric. Who would have thought stock car racing would stand the test of time? Go ahead and make your joke about only turning left, call it boring, say it’s only for rednecks,Continue reading “It Is Time To Fully Commit To NASCAR”

Rudy Gobert? More like Rudy Doneshare (The Coronavirus)

More like Rudy Nocare (about the coronavirus). Come the fuck on Rudy! Rudolph Gobert. You’re 7’1″! How the hell did you even get the coronavirus? At that height you should be breathing in nice fresh air with every breath, not the recycled, germ infested, fart air the rest of us 6 foot plebeians are swappingContinue reading “Rudy Gobert? More like Rudy Doneshare (The Coronavirus)”

Golden State Fans Had Their Prayers Answered Today

So if you haven’t heard, the Golden State Warriors will be playing at home in front of approximately zero fans. Essentially this will just be a Warriors game from the pre Steph Curry era. It looks like the Lord hath smiled down upon the city of San Francisco on this Wednesday the 11th, in theContinue reading “Golden State Fans Had Their Prayers Answered Today”

Draymond Green Shouldn’t Be Allowed In The Same State As Charles Barkley

Draymond is a very good basketball player. In spurts, he’s been a great basketball player. He was an integral part of the championships he won, but he was third and fourth best player on those teams. Barkley “can’t sit at this table.” What a joke. Has Draymond never watched Charles Barkley play ball? The RoundContinue reading “Draymond Green Shouldn’t Be Allowed In The Same State As Charles Barkley”

NFL Uniform Rankings

From worst to first… 32. Chicago Bears (Worst) 31. Washington Redskins 30. San Francisco 49ers 29. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 28. Jacksonville Jaguars 27. New York Giants 26. Green Bay Packers 25. New York Jets 24. Carolina Panthers 23. New England Patriots 22. Houston Texans 21. Los Angeles Rams 20. Cleveland Browns 19. Detroit Lions 18.Continue reading “NFL Uniform Rankings”

If Minnesota Only Drafts Cornerbacks And Offensive Linemen, I’ll Be Happy.

Most people would consider a team drafting only two positions a bad draft strategy. ESPN would certainly give that team a big fat “F” on their draft report card, but if the Vikings did this, I wouldn’t hate it. I’d call it a bold draft strategy. I realize their are some other areas of need,Continue reading “If Minnesota Only Drafts Cornerbacks And Offensive Linemen, I’ll Be Happy.”

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